You know... I feel like I come on here to babble... and I sorta do... I don't know who besides one person that actually reads... which probably makes it a bit more easy to type out my thoughts... LOL!
I remember Point of Grace had a CD entitled 'Life Love and Other Mysteries' and that phrase has stuck with me ever since... I think... I may be afraid to love... really love... that let loose, let it all hang out love... that is a challenging thought for me... and one that I must wrestle with if I ever desire to be married, in more than name only. I've realized lately that I've never loved without limits... I believe that I have felt the beginning stages of that... but that freedom to love and be loved died... back with my 1st love...
Mary J. Blige had a song entitled 'Love Without a Limit'... I wonder now... what is that really like... and the only way for me to learn is to... learn to let go... but how do you let go a part of yourself that you have held onto for dear life for so long... I wasn't even aware that I hadn't loved to that depth... Now... I'm wondering how do I go about it and yet still protect myself... maybe I can't... maybe that is part of the letting go... literally letting go... As simple as that sounds.. I kinda get it and I kinda don't... Lord help the man that is for me... help him to be able to demonstrate that love towards me... model it for me... and then... Lord help me to be able to reciprocate that love... it's easy to love God... but man... at that level... that is a truly scary thought... and yet... people do it every day without thought...
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